Chickens are doomed!!

lets face it, chickens are screwed!

throughout history (or as much history as i have gathered through years of schooling, tv documentaries, and good movies!) the chicken has always sufferred.

For one thing, no religion in the world protects it. Cows are spared and even worshipped in India cos of their being regarded as holy by Hindus. Pigs are spared by muslim countries as they are considered dirty.....but thats it. no religion says "the chicken is sacred." Even through ancient times, paegan rituals, roman / greek / barbarian religious practices all involved sacrifices and all but wouldnt you know it, chickens (amongst other birds) were right up there with all the buffaloes and goats on the sacrifice blocks! I mean sure cows and pigs and all other animals do get killed but they are relatively better off.

a little while back it looked like there was going to be some respite for them with the outbreak of SARS bringing about an overnight decline in people eating the bird (i suspect that the whole SARS thing was an undercover mission carried out by the special chicken task force to stop the continuous massacre) and guess what? that actually ended up messing them up even more - thanks to the outbreak, a whole mess of them were down with a killer virus, and the rest of them were torched just in case!

and forget man's role in all this, lets look at what the creator / divine light / energy / powers-that-be / nature / gaya went and did - look at the chicken! It's a plump small bird that can't fly or run to save it's life - literally!! It doesn't have particularly sharp claws or a deadly beak, infact no real protective mechanism at all! so what chance does it have against earth's greatest hunter?!

to add insult to injury, even the damn eggs don't have a chance! I mean, even cows and goats are eaten but they do have other functions too - milk, cheese, wool etc., but our bird really doesnt have a whole lot to do except eat, screw, lay eggs so they can be eaten, and when they get bored of that, get eaten themselves!

while all these things are factors for the chicken's ill fate, the number one reason, the real driving force behind all the above is that they are frickin delicious!! and to make matters worse, its healthy too. can you imagine?? beef and mutton consumption has slowed up owing to how unhealthy all that red meat is, and now all of a sudden, chicken is a healthy choice. so no relief there! i googled chicken recipes and i got 3,840,000 results. granted that a lot of those may be overlapping but im willing to bet there must be atleast 20,000 ways to cook the damn thing. and we humans can be pretty insensitive when it comes to that too! not only do we do slice and dice the poor thing up in every which way, but we've even concocted recipes that involve shoving a big fat lemon up it's pooper! i mean come ooon...first you take this thing's life, then you strip it, and then violate it!! and what about exotic dishes like meat loaf stuffed with chicken?! the poor bird could've actually skipped being in that dish alltogether but hey! if we can find a way to add some chicken to a dish, we'll do it!

and god bless the selfless chicken for not even being an endangered species or showing any signs of getting extinct.

so people there you have it, the chicken is here to stay, and i'm off to KFC to pay my respects!